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The Ten Best Drinks You've Probably Never Ordered will start off with the Gin Fizz.

The drink is similar to a Tom Collins and one of the classic highballs. Simply pour the ingredients over ice and give a little stir.

3 parts gin, 2 parts lemon juice (fresh is better), 1 part simple syrup, top off with soda water (some suggest 5 parts).

In a new revelation, police revealed that the Belgian creche stabber was a 20 year-old man dressed as The Joker from the recent Batman movie, wearing make up and quoting Heath Ledger. The man has been described by former schoolmates and colleagues as a "'film freak' and 'movie addict.'"

Disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich went on Good Morning America as his impeachment trial began. He told Diane Sawyer that he had considered Oprah Winfrey for Barack Obama's vacated senate seat.

"She seemed to be someone who had helped Barack Obama in a significant way to become president," Blagojevich said. Blagojevich added that "she had a much broader bully pulpit than a lot of senators." ... "she probably wouldn't take it, and then if you offered it to her, how would you do it in a way it wasn't a gimmick to embarass her."

'And ovaries, man. Ovaries, huh?' [awkward pause] '...faithfully.'

A Japanese book using Obama speeches to teach English is a hit. The 95 page tome offers some of the highlights, including his famous 2004 DNC speech. The simplicity of campaign speeches makes them useful for learning the language, but that doesn't mean every president gets a book.

"We don't publish every single president's speeches," Asahi Press official Yuzo Yamamoto said. "Would you buy the text of former President George W. Bush's speeches?"

That's right, you TOO can own a part of history - your very own Barack Obama Riding a Unicorn t-shirt. For only 28 dollars (which includes shipping) this shirt, designed by DC artist Chris Bishop, can be in your wardrobe rotation.

Don't delay, order today as supplies are limited.

We finally have the official note that Bush left in the top drawer for incoming President Obama.

From the Huffington Post:

WASHINGTON, DC: In a stunning late-hour development, President George W. Bush has granted Osama bin Laden a pardon for the murder of more than 2,700 Americans in the fall of 2001.

"This kinda came out of nowhere," said a White House aide who requested anonymity. "I wouldn't have put bin Laden on the short list myself. On the other hand, maybe this is the president's way of finding closure. Because ... y'know ... he wasn't actually able to kill bin Laden, or capture him, or even keep him from making all those (expletive) videos. I mean, jeez, let's face it: Osama bin Laden is basically a one-man Netflix of cave movies."

To dive deeper into the issue, Conservative columnist William Kristol was asked for comment:

"George W. Bush is a brilliant strategist. I'm sure he has a good reason for this pardon. I'll figure it out."

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Many people are marking this historical inauguration in different ways... some are spending 15 hours on the beltway trying to get into DC, while others choose to stay in and have a pajama party. An Obama Pajama Party, to be specific. And what are they wearing to their Obama Pajama Party? OJAMAS.

Yes that's right folks, you can have your very own yes we can ojamas. This is awesome.

Following up my previous post, the uniforms for the game have now been released. Even the referees are taking part! I think it's extremely clever and I for one am excited at least one game is taking part in the mockery! The jerseys are shown below:

Sorry about the little skip at the beginning, but seriously, this reinforces my idea that you should actually need a license to be allowed to participate in the gene pool.

"Don't let the Turkey's get you down" wrote Ronald Reagan to his Presidential successor. Today this begs the question, when Obama sits down behind the desk in the Oval Office for the first time. What will be on the note in the drawer left by Dubbya?

Here at Delvv, always hoping to spur your creative streak, we ask you to share your best guess in the comments.

A very scientific representation of the factors influencing President Elect Obama as his inauguration draws closer.

Expectations
Change
Racist grandpas rolling over in their graves
Political pundits saying racism is over in America
Racism in America
The audacity of hope

Thanks to collegehumor.com for the picture.

Apparently, this is even true.

Stumbled upon this poem in reference to festivus, the term Baltimoreans affectionately use to refer to playoff season in the Charm City, and just had to share.
And on that note:
IT'S RAVENS TIME!!!!!!!

Twas the night before Festivus, when all through Charm City
Ravens fans were stirring and even felt giddy.
The jerseys were hung by the chimney with flare,
In hopes that Joe Flacco soon would be there.

The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of the playoffs danced in their heads.
And when we awoke and January 10 was the date,
We just settled down for a winter's tailgate,

When out in the end zone there arose such a clatter,
The opponent looked over to see what was the matter.
In a huddle of players that looked like a flash,
The Ravens looked ready for a hard-hitting clash.

The season had boiled down to one single game
as the players were looking for more than just fame,
And what to my wondering eyes looked intense,
For it was Ray Lewis...and the Baltimore defense.

A terrifying unit, so lively and quick,
They'll hit you, they'll haunt you, or even grab the pick.
More rapid than wolves these hunters they came,
And Ray whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"T-Sizzle! now, JJ! now, Bannan, Haloti!
On, Trevor! on Leonhard! on, Reed and Samari!
To the top of the mountain! to the top of the hill!
Knock them out! Get the ball! Now in for the kill!"

And then, the offense, led by a menacing line,
Came onto the field and was ready to fly.
A three-headed monster was at running back,
led by McClain, a big rumbling mack.

And Mason the veteran, with his shoulder so sore,
Kept reining in passes, one, two, three, more!
And finally, a sight so perfect, so new;
a quarterback to be proud of, a little like Johnny U.

Joe Flacco was ready to take the city by storm,
his cannon for an arm much better than norm,
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And led them downfield, the fans going berserk.

The Ravens were ready to give such a gift
to the fans of Baltimore who needed the lift.
Coach Harbaugh exclaimed, while his team looked so sleek,
"Happy Festivus to all, and we'll see you next week."

(Thanks to BaltimoreSun.com blogger "Purple Sunday" for the poem!)

Well, it's now over 2 months after the election, and we all thought the "Palin Power" frenzy would fizzle and we would have a break from the snow prince ss, until it was time to start campaigning for the 2012 presidency. No such luck. Apparently, she will be featured in an upcoming documentary entitled "Media Malpractice." The Washington Post's political blog has quite a comment on this in the article "Crazy, or Crazy Like A Fox?", my favorite being the observation that "She lives in alternate reality. It's very funny, yet very scary." In the 9-minute interview/conversation with the documentarian that is posted on the Washington Post blog, funny and scary are the words that came to my mind, as well.

Porsche recently used the markets in a somewhat unconventional and thoroughly self-beneficial way. Through slowly buying up VW stock and using short sellers' logic against them, they managed to make billions.

Nothing groundbreaking here, just a review of 5 fast facts (with explanation) you may or may not have known about your penis. Among them, you can break your penis (and how to prevent it), and some penises can grow up to double their length when erect. I was going to post a picture, but that doesn't seem like a great idea.

The American adult entertainment industry is looking for a bail out. They are feeling left out and think 5 billion USD would be nice. The movement is being spearheaded by Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis. The two acknowledge that the industry is in no real danger in spite of lagging DVD sales, but they posit that it's still an important issue that needs to be addressed.

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

Pirates have been the victim of propaganda campaigns for centuries and the war on pirates of 2009 is no exception. Johann Hari of the London Independent tells how many of the Somalian pirates are really just trying to stop the rest of the world from illegally overfishing in Somali waters and dumping toxic (sometimes radioactive waste) off the thousands of kilometers of Somalian coast.

Muhammad Saad Iqbal spent six years in the detention facility at Guantánamo Bay before finally being released without charge. During those six years, he was interrogated, beaten, and tortured. Finally free, he tells his story as he pursues legal recourse against the United States government and seeks compensation for the more than half decade of his life that he will never get back.

My first and only response to this article was "oh no she di-int!!"
Ann Coulter has taken some time in her latest book to bash Michelle Obama's style, citing her as a cheap imitator of Jackie O's style which would have been "laughable if done by anyone other than a media-designated saint."

It's no secret that our future first lady has been compared to one Jackie O, but what Ms Coulter doesn't seem to understand is that this comparison-while strengthened by sleeveless A-line dresses, strings of short pearls and impeccable choice in eyewear- has its roots in a level of class and poise that Ms Coulter does not seem to be familiar with, seeing as her sense of style is better suited to be compared to a 17-year old showing off her too-skinny legs in a micro-mini skirt with intentions of sleeping her way to student body president than a timeless icon of class of style such as Jackie O.

A tour of one of Pennsylvania's most beautiful homes.

New York is proposing an 18% tax on sugary drinks and non-diet soda to combat the trends of increasing obesity among children and adults as well as the shift from drinking milk, water, and fruit juices towards sugary drinks like soda. According to recent polls, the public opposes the tax, but State Health Commissioner Richard Daines has created a video to talk about the shift and explain why he supports the tax.

Is this just another way the government is becoming a nanny state and trampling on personal freedoms or is it important legislation that addresses a public health issue that costs billions every year?

How does this compare with the Pennsylvania public smoking ban?

Discuss.

An insightful look into the current status of the American economy and the American Dream. Matt Miller assesses the situation and what that might mean in the short-term and long-term for the USA and challenges the way we look at the roles and responsibilities of the individual and the government. He cites three problems with the way we think and how we can change.

"The U.S. now offers its citizens a smaller chance of rising from their economic status at birth than do France, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Canada, and Germany."

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Shamelessly taken from Gunn'y

New research has shown that hours spent sleeping has a direct correlation to risk for coronary artery disease. For each additional hour of sleep, the risk of calcification of the coronary arteries decreased by 33 percent -- an outcome equal to reducing blood pressure by 16 point elevations. This held true even when confounding factors, such as age, race, cholesterol level, and other possible risk factors were controlled. So, the next time you get in trouble for oversleeping, I'd say that this is a pretty good excuse.

As the domestic real estate market slumps, American architects and urban planners are being hired overseas to create American-style suburbs in parts of Asia and countries like Egypt and Azerbaijan. Some places it's hard to tell you aren't in Southern California. They have tree-lined streets, sidewalks, parks, and shops. The American Dream has been exported.

Why?

Wouldn't Usonai, Prairie School, and Organic Architecture have been nicer exports?

"Obama has been writing Lincoln/Obama erotic fan fiction on his secret live journal. Excerpt: Lincoln lay back on the bed, nude save for his trademark stovepipe hat. 'Tell me,' he purred seductively, as he and Obama formed a more perfect union. 'When you come, is it 10% ethanol?'"

RNC Candidate Chip Saltsman distributed a 41-track CD full of satirical songs including "Barack the Magic Negro," which was featured on Rush Limbaugh's radio show. The song was written by conservative satirist Paul Shanklin, played to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon" and sung in Shanklin's impression of Al Sharpton. The song was first played on Limbaugh's show in March 2007.

From the song:

“See, real black men, like Snoop Dog, or me, or Farrakhan, have talked the talk, and walked the walk, not come in late and won”

Hallmark stores have recently recalled thousands of over-sized snow globes because they have received several reports of the 17" tall globe acting as a magnifying glass and igniting things around the globe. Wow. I can't decide if this is really freaky or really awesome. I'm going to go with awesome.

The Baydan Model 271 was the shoe that an Iraqi journalist threw at President Bush last week, and now, the Istanbul based company has decided to rename the shoe "the Bush shoe" and demand is off the charts.

In this time of great international economic strife, at least this Turkish company has been able to tap into the Zeitgeist and instigate demand. In fact, Baydan has hired one hundred new staff members to cope with a sudden surge in novelty demand.

In other news, the brother of the shoe lobber is angry he says that Baydan and others are trying to capitalize on the situation and that his brother's shoes were in fact made in Iraq.

Meh.

Forbes investigative journalism on the prowl:

For a time, Beverly Hills doctor Craig Alan Bittner turned the fat he removed from patients into biodiesel that fueled his Ford SUV and his girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator.

Love handles can power a car? Frighteningly, yes. Fat--whether animal or vegetable--contains triglycerides that can be extracted and turned into diesel.

Students at one Maryland high school have been printing up fake license plates with numbers of teachers or peers that they have it out for, attaching said "plate" to their car, and then speeding through camera traps. The mark gets a $40 fine in the mail.

The practice has brought into public discourse the problems of the photo system and its accuracy. Looks like high school students have once again found a way to pwn the system. Here's to creativity, and license plate fonts for the fifty nifty United States.

Bristol Palin's baby dady's momma was recently arrested on drug charges. The warrant resulted from an "undercover investigation" that "had been going on for a while."

Apparently you can throw a stone in Alaska and hit a meth lab.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's office "won't have any comment" as "this is not a state government matter."

Photo borrowed without intent to return from CNN.

"And the ten minutes striking up a conversation with that strange kid in homeroom sometimes matters more than every other part of high school combined."

Benign brain tumors are fairly common in newborns. Usually it requires surgery in the first few days of life, and is actually fairly simple- open up, remove tumor, close up. In newborns, most tumors are made up of undifferentiated, disorganized stem cells. In the case of this child, however, the cells seemed to be quite organized. Organized into a foot. That's right, this baby had a foot in it's brain. Doctor's have not yet confirmed whether this foot is an extremely rare, highly differentiated stem cell tumor, or if it belonged to the baby's twin who just did not fully develop and was engulfed (another very rare incidence) by the fully developed baby. Either way, I would have liked to see the face of the neurosurgeon who opened up the brain when a foot popped out. For those of you who are concerned, the child is recovering well from his foot-ectomy.

Because only 5 posts are tagged with "Art."

A little photography submitted for your perusal.

A cop stole confiscated marijuana and cooked brownies with his wife. Shortly thereafter they believed they were overdosing and so called 911. Neither the cop nor his wife were charged, but the police department was gracious enough to allow him to resign.

Cop Eats Pot Brownies, Freaks Out, and calls 911

That's right.... for a small price, you can smell like a flame broiled Burger King burger

A tasty classic suitable for any drinking man's repertoire. It's basically a Manhattan with Scotch. Personally, I find it to be better sans bitters, but to each his own.

2 oz Scotch Whisky
1/2 oz Sweet Vermouth
Harrington suggested during summer "on the rocks. In the winter, up." Bitters are optional here.

Cigar is also optional.

Now, before I seem like the cruelest human being in the world. I'm posting this because the cow gets hit by a plane - and then, apparently gets up and starts grazing like nothing ever happened.

Full Story at MSNBC

This open-source font was designed by Europeans to use 20% less ink than a typical san serif font. That way you can waste 20% more paper for very little additional cost!

From timesunion.com

Scientists managed to convert electrical impulses from the brain into images on a computer screen. Is this scary? Is this awesome? Is this scary awesome? I don't know, but I think that debate can wait until we have more than a few grainy pixels that form a letter.

Courtesy of SlipperyBrick

During a suprise trip to Iraq, President Bush was confronted by an Iraqi journalist who wished to give him a "Goodbye Kiss".

Someone should probably tell him that American's don't usually kiss by throwing shoes.

UPDATE: BBC has video

Because I was given the right to post links, here is a bit of shameless self promotion:

Fear and Loathing in the 21st Century

Check out my blog. Latest post: Shitty fantasy television shows and Darth Vader getting pwned by the Tokyo Police.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/12/13/nichols.sentence/index.html

"A Georgia judge threw the book at Brian Nichols on Saturday, giving him four consecutive sentences of life without parole for a 2005 shooting rampage that started in an Atlanta courthouse.

'I'm giving you the maximum -- every day I could give you. If I could give you more, I would,' Superior Court Judge James Bodiford told Nichols.

Bodiford gave Nichols the maximum sentence on all the non-murder charges, and ordered them to be served consecutively.

Those terms ranged from five years for escape to life for armed robbery. Other charges included aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, robbery by force, theft by taking, hijacking a motor vehicle and false imprisonment."

Sometimes prank wars get unnecessarily complicated.

"You didn't run a chemical test against the Shroud of Turin? Man, all that work for NOTHING."

from Politicker

Yes, it is true. If anyone will be in Vegas on Jan. 30th.... make it out to the ECHL game between the Las Vegas Wranglers and the Victoria Salmon Kings. The Wranglers will be wearing special "prison uniform" style jerseys in 'honor' of recently disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.

Read more about it here

....after the game happens, if I can find pictures.... I will follow up with a new post featuring them.

Drescher spokesman Jordan Brown told CNN in a written statement late Monday:

"Fran Drescher, actress, women's health advocate and public diplomacy envoy for the U.S. State Department, announced that she is throwing her hat into the ring of contenders for the senate seat being vacated by Secretary of State-designate Hillary Rodham Clinton,"

But CNN's description is better:

Drescher, 51, is best known for her starring role in the 1990s television comedy "The Nanny" and an adenoidal voice that could strip the rust off an engine block — a talent that might come in handy during a Senate filibuster.

Today the FBI has arrested Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich for conspiring to gain financial advantage from his duty to appoint Senator Obama's replacement.

A 76-page affidavit from the United States Attorney’s office in Northern Illinois says Mr. Blagojevich was heard on wiretaps over the last month planning to “sell or trade Illinois’ United States Senate seat vacated by Pres-elect Barack Obama for financial and personal benefits for himself and his wife.”

From the newly-remortgaged New York Times

At a loss for what to get your parent, friend or "lover" for Christmas this year? How about Chlamydia? Yup, that's right- GiantMicrobes has come to rescue for all you challenged gift givers out there and released a line of plush dolls shaped like microbes, ranging from the common cold to ebola, and for those of you who are feeling a little kinkier, herpes to "the clap." The microbes come with a magnified picture of the real microbe, along with an imformation packet on the disease it causes. So, I don't know about you guys, but all I want for Christmas this year is Gonorrhea. Or maybe some fat cells. Or maybe C. Diff. I just can't decide!!

This Weekend a major Detroit church parked SUVs by the altar and asked the congregation to pray over them. The move was to ask God's help in the lives of countless auto workers in Michigan whose livelihoods may depend on a automaker bailout this week in congress.

While I appreciate the sentiment, I imagine most parishioners did not require a visual aid to know what an automobile is.

Research from around the world is demonstrating that the bevy of chemicals, especially chemical pesticides, floating around the world is entering females' bodies and damaging their male offspring's genitals. This phenomenon is being observed in males throughout nearly all major vertebrate animal species.

Many [chemicals] have been identified as "endocrine disrupters" – or gender-benders – because they interfere with hormones. These include phthalates, used in food wrapping, cosmetics and baby powders among other applications; flame retardants in furniture and electrical goods; PCBs, a now banned group of substances still widespread in food and the environment; and many pesticides.

Feminisation of the males of numerous vertebrate species is now a widespread occurrence. All vertebrates have similar sex hormone receptors, which have been conserved in evolution. Therefore, observations in one species may serve to highlight pollution issues of concern for other vertebrates, including humans.

Some British fish have even been developing eggs in their testes.... Ach, Scheiße!

Who'da thunk?? Low-sodium foods from soup to salad dressing have been around for a while, and we all know how important low-sodium diets are to people with or at risk for heart disease. However, some very unexpected foods are quite high in sodium. Here's a partial list:

Twizzlers: Nearly twice the sodium of a serving of salted peanuts
Prego Heart Smart Traditional Italian Sauce: 4x the sodium of a serving of salted peanuts
Kraft Snackables cheddar and monterrey jack cheese cubes: Nearly 3x the sodium of a serving of salted peanuts

Amazingly, a serving a Planter's salted peanuts has quite a reasonable amount of sodium per serving. The New York Times has some more detail.
Bottom line- it's important to know what you are eating, and there is only one way to do that:
ALWAYS read the label!
Click here for the Mayo Clinic's recommendations on sodium intake, and recommendations on how to decrease yours if it's too high.

The Russians may have been first in space, and the Americans the first to the moon, but the Japanese are the first to make space beer - beer brewed with barley grown on the International Space Station.

Unfortunately, only 100 liters of the extraterrestrial elixir were produced and they are only available for a limited sampling in Japan.

Kampai!

Via Gizmodo

Photo gratuitously lifted from Gizmodo who ostensibly borrowed it from AFP without intent to return.

Because who doesn't want bacon-flavored vodka?

Bacon Vodka

makes up one pint

Fry up three strips of bacon.
Add cooked bacon to a clean pint sized mason jar. Trim the ends of the bacon if they are too tall to fit in the jar. Or you could go hog wild and just pile in a bunch of fried up bacon scraps. Optional: add crushed black peppercorns.
Fill the jar up with vodka. Cap and place in a dark cupboard for at least three weeks. That’s right- I didn’t refrigerate it.
At the end of the three week resting period, place the bacon vodka in the freezer to solidify the fats. Strain out the fats through a coffee filter to yield a clear filtered pale yellow bacon vodka.

Decant into decorative bottles and enjoy.

Photo blatantly ripped off of Brownie Points.

The New York Daily News has stolen the Empire State Building.

"And it wasn't that hard"

Don't worry, they gave it back.

photo graciously borrowed from the NYDN

When so many others were bending and breaking the rules, using a Gitmo interrogation style, one US Air Force interrogator in Iraq preferred to play by the rules, get a little creative, and get results. Without using torture, he managed to get information critical in leading to the death of Zarqawi. In this article, originally in the Washington Post, he gives some insight on the war and American conduct in Iraq. An excerpt:

I learned in Iraq that the No. 1 reason foreign fighters flocked there to fight were the abuses carried out at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo...The number of U.S. soldiers who have died because of our torture policy will never be definitively known, but it is fair to say that it is close to the number of lives lost on Sept. 11, 2001. How anyone can say that torture keeps Americans safe is beyond me -- unless you don't count American soldiers as Americans.

Via The Liberator Magazine.

One of the ornaments selected for the Fraser Fir in the White House Blue Room includes statements by various Congressmen advocating impeachment of the White House's occupants.

Laura Bush asked members of Congress to have local artists create ornaments. Washington State's Jim McDermott chose artist Deborah Lawrence.

"I was at first nauseated, then realized it was an opportunity," said Lawrence, 55, who frequently combines politics and satire in her work and saw this as the perfect way "to highlight Jim McDermott because he's a hero of mine."

More on the ornery ornament.

Photo courtesy Deborah Lawrence

The Pentagon is deploying 20,000 uniformed US soldiers within the country. The troop deployment is part of an expansion of the Department of Defense's role in homeland security.

The move has civil liberties advocates on edge and there is talk of a possible conflict with the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878. The law, enacted following the Reconstruction, severely restricts the ability of uniformed military personnel to act as law enforcement on non-federal land.

Image courtesy of Getty

It seems as though President Bush has kind of apologized for screwing up the economy and the War in Iraq.

Some gems:

"I wish the intelligence had been different, I guess," Bush added.
"That is a do-over that I can't do," Bush said.

Reflections on the Bush II Presidency, courtesy of the man himself.

Photo courtesy of AP

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/11/26/first-white-house-chrismukkah-cards-accidentally-sent/

"A picture of a Christmas tree is not the first thing you would expect to see on an invitation to an event celebrating Hanukkah, but that is exactly what recipients of invitations to this year's White House Hanukkah reception initially got in the mail.

The invitation sent to American Jewish leaders on behalf of the President and First Lady, requesting "the pleasure of your company at a Hanukkah reception," bore an image of a Clydesdale horse-drawn cart, carrying the White House Christmas tree, with a Christmas wreath-adorned White House in the background."

Wow, George... wow.

Israel has instituted a ban on the press in the Gaza Strip. This is a stunning blow to freedom of the press. While Israel is still permitting humanitarian aid, Palestinians say they feel as though they're living under siege.

A study found that a couple of weeks worth of the Iraq War could eliminate HIV and AIDS in only 10 years.

Granted, there were a lot of assumptions, but it's an exciting possibility.

A 21 year-old escaped from a prison in Kentucky and then returned later that day, asking to be let back in.

That's special.

A 13 year old Florida male was arrested for "breaking wind" and disrupting class....

.... now that stinks!

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