10 January 2009

It's Ravens Time

Stumbled upon this poem in reference to festivus, the term Baltimoreans affectionately use to refer to playoff season in the Charm City, and just had to share.
And on that note:

Twas the night before Festivus, when all through Charm City

Ravens fans were stirring and even felt giddy.
The jerseys were hung by the chimney with flare,
In hopes that Joe Flacco soon would be there.

The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of the playoffs danced in their heads.
And when we awoke and January 10 was the date,
We just settled down for a winter's tailgate,

When out in the end zone there arose such a clatter,
The opponent looked over to see what was the matter.
In a huddle of players that looked like a flash,
The Ravens looked ready for a hard-hitting clash.

The season had boiled down to one single game
as the players were looking for more than just fame,
And what to my wondering eyes looked intense,
For it was Ray Lewis...and the Baltimore defense.

A terrifying unit, so lively and quick,
They'll hit you, they'll haunt you, or even grab the pick.
More rapid than wolves these hunters they came,
And Ray whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"T-Sizzle! now, JJ! now, Bannan, Haloti!
On, Trevor! on Leonhard! on, Reed and Samari!
To the top of the mountain! to the top of the hill!
Knock them out! Get the ball! Now in for the kill!"

And then, the offense, led by a menacing line,
Came onto the field and was ready to fly.
A three-headed monster was at running back,
led by McClain, a big rumbling mack.

And Mason the veteran, with his shoulder so sore,
Kept reining in passes, one, two, three, more!
And finally, a sight so perfect, so new;
a quarterback to be proud of, a little like Johnny U.

Joe Flacco was ready to take the city by storm,
his cannon for an arm much better than norm,
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And led them downfield, the fans going berserk.

The Ravens were ready to give such a gift
to the fans of Baltimore who needed the lift.
Coach Harbaugh exclaimed, while his team looked so sleek,
"Happy Festivus to all, and we'll see you next week."

(Thanks to BaltimoreSun.com blogger "Purple Sunday" for the poem!)

09 January 2009

She's Baaaaaaaaaack!

Well, it's now over 2 months after the election, and we all thought the "Palin Power" frenzy would fizzle and we would have a break from the snow prince ss, until it was time to start campaigning for the 2012 presidency. No such luck. Apparently, she will be featured in an upcoming documentary entitled "Media Malpractice." The Washington Post's political blog has quite a comment on this in the article "Crazy, or Crazy Like A Fox?", my favorite being the observation that "She lives in alternate reality. It's very funny, yet very scary." In the 9-minute interview/conversation with the documentarian that is posted on the Washington Post blog, funny and scary are the words that came to my mind, as well.

How Porsche took the hedge funds behind the woodshed

Porsche recently used the markets in a somewhat unconventional and thoroughly self-beneficial way. Through slowly buying up VW stock and using short sellers' logic against them, they managed to make billions.

XKCD: Windows 7

08 January 2009

First 100 Minutes

5 things you didn't know about your penis

Nothing groundbreaking here, just a review of 5 fast facts (with explanation) you may or may not have known about your penis. Among them, you can break your penis (and how to prevent it), and some penises can grow up to double their length when erect. I was going to post a picture, but that doesn't seem like a great idea.

Of Apples and Men

Appointed Forever

07 January 2009

Porn industry next in line for bailout

The American adult entertainment industry is looking for a bail out. They are feeling left out and think 5 billion USD would be nice. The movement is being spearheaded by Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis. The two acknowledge that the industry is in no real danger in spite of lagging DVD sales, but they posit that it's still an important issue that needs to be addressed.
"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

'You are being lied to about pirates'

Pirates have been the victim of propaganda campaigns for centuries and the war on pirates of 2009 is no exception. Johann Hari of the London Independent tells how many of the Somalian pirates are really just trying to stop the rest of the world from illegally overfishing in Somali waters and dumping toxic (sometimes radioactive waste) off the thousands of kilometers of Somalian coast.

6 years in Guantánamo

Muhammad Saad Iqbal spent six years in the detention facility at Guantánamo Bay before finally being released without charge. During those six years, he was interrogated, beaten, and tortured. Finally free, he tells his story as he pursues legal recourse against the United States government and seeks compensation for the more than half decade of his life that he will never get back.

04 January 2009

Michelle. Jackie. Ann?

My first and only response to this article was "oh no she di-int!!"
Ann Coulter has taken some time in her latest book to bash Michelle Obama's style, citing her as a cheap imitator of Jackie O's style which would have been "laughable if done by anyone other than a media-designated saint."

It's no secret that our future first lady has been compared to one Jackie O, but what Ms Coulter doesn't seem to understand is that this comparison-while strengthened by sleeveless A-line dresses, strings of short pearls and impeccable choice in eyewear- has its roots in a level of class and poise that Ms Coulter does not seem to be familiar with, seeing as her sense of style is better suited to be compared to a 17-year old showing off her too-skinny legs in a micro-mini skirt with intentions of sleeping her way to student body president than a timeless icon of class of style such as Jackie O.