Palin to resign amid ethics inquiries; possible 2012 run?

Alaska Governor and one-time vice presidential hopeful Sarah Palin announced that she will resign her office July 25 and will not seek re-election in 2010. While the governor did not cite a specific reason, there is speculation that she is setting herself up for a 2012 bid for president. The resignation will also allow her to travel the country more freely without facing the repeated ethics inquiries that have mired her post-November political career.

World Conquered, someone should call the Orkin Man

An Ant Mega-Colony has taken over the world. Seriously, there's like one giant gaggle of ants, hanging out all over the place, and they are buddies. From the BBC:

it now appears that billions of Argentine ants around the world all actually belong to one single global mega-colony.

Researchers in Japan and Spain led by Eiriki Sunamura of the University of Tokyo found that Argentine ants living in Europe, Japan and California shared a strikingly similar chemical profile of hydrocarbons on their cuticles.

But further experiments revealed the true extent of the insects' global ambition.

The team selected wild ants from the main European super-colony, from another smaller one called the Catalonian super-colony which lives on the Iberian coast, the Californian super-colony and from the super-colony in west Japan, as well as another in Kobe, Japan.

They then matched up the ants in a series of one-on-one tests to see how aggressive individuals from different colonies would be to one another.

Ants from the smaller super-colonies were always aggressive to one another. So ants from the west coast of Japan fought their rivals from Kobe, while ants from the European super-colony didn't get on with those from the Iberian colony.

Great, just great; Argentina again. Clearly, Sanford did this.

And just because we all want to see Ants kicking some insane ass:

XKCD: Qwertial Aphasia

The Mark Sanford Affair: immortalized in a poem

One poet was moved to pen a poem capturing and commemorating Mark Sanford's salacious seductions. Oh, what beauty! Enjoy.

On the Appalachian trail
hangs an Argentinian tale.
a trail-rhyme romance of which Chaucer
might well have been a rude endorser.
Alibis in Appalachia,
more consistent with males' nature
than the nature you may find
on the nature trail remind
the people who're in Carolina
that their Governor's a finer
lover than they thought when they
elected him. Now let us pray
for him, and nature of the male,
trailing in pursuit of tail,
and all the best of Argentina's
Ninas friendly to the penis.

Colbert Report: Cynthia Davis & Fox News

In which Stephen Colbert commends Cynthia Davis for coming out against subsidizing school lunches for low-income children in summer months because "Hunger can be a positive motivator" and then chastises Fox News for calling Mark Sanford a Democrat.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Tip/Wag - Cynthia Davis & Fox News
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Jeff Goldblum

Coleman concedes; Franken next MN Senator

After a long and protracted legal contest, former Republican Senator Norm Coleman conceded and Al Franken is the next Senator from Minnesota. The Minnesota Supreme Court rejected Norm Coleman's petition in a decision released earlier today. The Democrats now expect to have a 60 member supermajority, including Franken, of the Democratic Farmer Labor Party and two independents who normally caucus with the Dems.

XKCD: Idiocracy

"People aren't going to change, for better or for worse. Technology is going to be so cool. All in all, the future will be okay! Except climate; we fucked that one up." We can only hope.

Google under scrutiny by DOJ

Peter DaSilva for The New York Times

"'Competition is a click away,' says Dana Wagner of Google, who has been on a public relations mission for the company."

As with many successful companies, Google finds itself falling under the watchful eye of the U.S. Department of Justice and regulators concerned about potential monopolistic practices. The company has around two-thirds of the Internet search market, YouTube is 10 times the size of the next biggest competitor, and it sold $22 billion in advertising in 2008. Dana Wagner, Google's Senior Competition Council and a former D.O.J. trustbuster, is tasked with explaining how Google is a relatively small company that has had success because its constant innovation has lead to superior products, but that it could fall to its competitors should that trend ever change.

Sleepwalking urination stabbing

May I apologize for my extended absence. I am no longer commuting 4 hours a day to work, or attempting to graduate from grad school while simultaneously planning a wedding. I offer the following hilarious headline as a peace offering:

KC Man Urinating While Sleepwalking Stabbed

COCKTAIL: The Daiquiri

Daily Beast writer Katie Workman provides a primer on "the drink Hemingway made famous" including a brief overview of its history and several recipes to try out. Cheers!

The Original Daiquiri:

The daiquiri, named after a nearby village, was served in a tall glass packed with cracked ice. A bit of sugar was added, and then fresh lime (or lemon—there's contention on this point) juice was squeezed over the sugar, and a few ounces of rum poured in. Then it was simply stirred vigorously. Later, the cocktail shaker became part of the equation.

Big Brother Moves to Lancaster

Little old Lancaster City just got creepier. No, Lancastrians, this doesn't count as social networking or reality tv.

From the LA Times:

Reporting from Lancaster, Pa. -- This historic town, where America's founding fathers plotted during the Revolution and Milton Hershey later crafted his first chocolates, now boasts another distinction.

It may become the nation's most closely watched small city.
Some 165 closed-circuit TV cameras soon will provide live, round-the-clock scrutiny of nearly every street, park and other public space used by the 55,000 residents and the town's many tourists. That's more outdoor cameras than are used by many major cities, including San Francisco and Boston.

Well. At least WGAL won't have to waste so much money on stock footage. . .

Iran on fire

For those of you not in the know - The Huffington Post has an excellent liveblog of all the events transpiring in the "Land of the Aryans." The reporter, Nico Pitney, is in contact with several citizen journalists in Iran and posts videos, emails, and other documents translated with the help of volunteers.

Sorry about that whole slavery thing...

But no reparations!

The U.S. House and Senate are both working on bills that would officially apologize for slavery. The wording of the Senate bill specifically prohibits the use of the apology in the search for reparations.

"Cohen said he and Harkin worked closely with the NAACP and other civil rights groups on language that would not endorse or preclude any future claims to reparations. "It will not harm reparations but won't give any standing to it," Cohen said."

Republicans were generally supportive, though one political science professor who spent time lobbying Bush to make the apology said it will be virtually meaningless coming from the Democrats because they are generally supported by African Americans and currently have a partially African American president.

Next up: Apologies for American Indians, Japanese Americans, most of Latin America, Iran...

Shocker: Detainee lied under torture to avoid more torture

The LA Times is reporting that documents they obtained show that the man behind 9/11, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed told US Military officials that he lied to his interrogators in an effort to avoid further torture and abuse. The revelation brings a new intensity to the debate over torture and the reliability of information gained from using some of these techniques.

"I make up stories," Mohammed said, describing in broken English an interrogation probably administered by the CIA concerning the whereabouts of Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden. "Where is he? I don't know. Then, he torture me," Mohammed said of his interrogator. "Then I said, 'Yes, he is in this area.' "

WRESTLING ANNOUNCER FACE-OFF

This is truly one of the best rants I've ever heard. Do yourself a favor... take 10 minutes and listen to this

Mona Lisa showing some skin

A previously-unknown work has been uncovered of a nude, Mona Lisa-esque model. The painting was attributed to Leonardo Da Vinci at its purchase in 1845, though it may simply be modeled after one of his lost works.

"Will the Antichrist be homosexual?"

A newspaper in Wasilla, Alaska (Alaska's fifth largest city, famous for its failed abstinence-only sex education) featured a headline asking "Will the Antichrist be homosexual?" The shocking conclusion is rather... inconclusive.

Veto Corleone has the scoop.

MHP: Charlotte's Web... of Evil!

Delicious indeed.

TIME TO HANG #10

The Hershey Bears, the longest and proudest franchise in the American Hockey League, are now the greatest franchise in the history of the 73 year old hockey league. On Friday June 12, the Bears defeated the Manitoba Moose 4-1 to win the Calder Cup Finals 4 games to 2. This championship was their 10th all time and 2nd in 4 years.

PA GOP, Furries, and Sexual Predators

Pennsylvania GOP Senate Whip Jane Orie recently fired one of her top aides for being a furry, or maybe just for being a sexual predator. Apparently the guy, a member of that scurge of the internets - Furries, was trying to make arrangements with a 15 year-old for some "yiffing." What is yiffing? you might ask. With any luck, this video will help you.